My 4 1/2 mile daily walks have been going off without much of a hitch.  I’m feeling better and hoping that soon I can start to run it more as I get conditioned.

The picture you see here is one I posted to twitpic called, “The Lonely Piano”.  It is part of a nationwide effort to get all kinds of pianos all over the place in one city.  New York did it and now it’s Denver’s turn.  I played my hand on this beast for about forty minutes last night after the Rockies game (we won 2-0!) and found it more therapeutic than I could have ever imagined.

When I was in elementary school my parents decided I would learn piano.  I went to these lessons dutifully for two or three years until I decided I hated them and the piano wasn’t cool anymore.  By middle school I decided the French Horn was the hot stuff.  I think even before I could really figure it out, I was totally into nerdy things.  I hit high school with a barely functional talent at playing the most beautiful brass instrument and promptly quit to join theatre.  I became a light tech and for the next four years of my high school years I found my joy.  That’s another story for another time.  The point is that I found joy.  Old joy at that, but still joy.

In that moment at 10:45pm last night I found an old joy that had been a friend once before.  I found plinking those keys in a plinking fashion that actually earned me a few compliments that even if we hated it as a kid and walked away from it, that simple joy can be found again and reborn.  I smiled more than probably is legally allowed as my fingers traversed the keys and composed a simple song from my heart.  It’s a song I’ve played over the years whenever I get near those precious black and whites.  It has no title, no real scope or sequence…but it is song of my heart that bleeds through every so often.

As I’m shifting into my thirties (terrifying as that might be) I’m finding the simple joys that bring a smile to my face.  A rockies game where myself and my date hilariously go back and forth with the Brewers fans in front of us.  How we exchange high fives with them every so often in between the barbs and “Your Mom” jokes.  Laughing and enjoying life has never felt so good.

In the two years since my stroke I’ve learned more about myself than I think I ever would have without it.  It brought forth an opening of my heart and soul that over time has slowly brought me towards being a better man.

It’s interesting to note all this from a nine inning baseball game but sometimes it the smallest moments that can inspire greatness.  I can’t claim greatness in a large sense but I can claim greatness in my own little life.  To be able to do that once in awhile and allow some pride to leak through my pores…that truly is something that makes me happy.  That every so often I can stand on my own two feet and say, “You know what?  I’m doing pretty ok.”

It’s a simple little thing I learned from a Rockies game and a forty minute bout of playing on a crazy old painted piano.

Ain’t life grand?

With a post title like this one features, you’d be good to read with care and grains of salt at the ready for sprinkling….read more @ Everydayhealth.com!

You want to know how bad it’s become? I weigh a shocking 230 pounds. I’m 5’11. That’s unreal to me.

I’ve struggled with my weight for a long time and most of it was even pre-stroke. It started when I went overseas to the Philippines and found myself eating to excess. When I came back I simply continued in this habit. It’s become worse in the last year as I’ve gone back and forth with my gym membership and moving into a new placed coupled with job stress.

I’m not happy with how I look and I’ve got to double down. Every month I go without getting back on the train is another month where I am living unhealthy and threatening my future with all kinds of potential maladies. It’s time. I’ve got to lose it or I will most certainly leave this earth earlier than I ever intended. Combined with my stroke, sleep apnea and everything else I can’t do what I’m doing anymore.

So every day I’m going to blog about what I did to avoid the acceleration of my doom. Some of it might be funny. Other times it’ll be heartbreaking. And some of it will probably be boring. But it must be done. My future depends on this.

While I accepted this explanation I still felt there was something missing from the confounding puzzle. My aunt recently called me after discovering there was a connection between strokes and Sleep Apnea. She was recently diagnosed and multiple members of my extended family suffer from the affliction. With her motivation (and my mother’s insistence) I setup an appointment for a sleep study at a nearby hospital.

I won’t lie to you, I was increasingly curious as I read more into the correlation of why Sleep Apnea carries the risk of heart attacks and strokes. It would make sense. I often complain of being tired as the day is just getting started even if I get more then acceptable amounts of sleep. I’ve also had more and more bouts of insomnia over the years that it is starting to become an unbearable problem.

And so I hauled up and headed to Skyridge Medical Center over in Highlands Ranch, CO to do my test. I have to say I’ve been in many a hospital (heck, I work at one!) and I was fairly impressed. Skyridge had the appearance of being clean and well managed. Check in was easy and I waited to be called for my test.

I’m not sure why I had the stroke a year ago, but I’m pretty sure God has had this planned out from the very start. When you have a small stroke, you are at first thankful. Stronger strokes have a habit of killing people. Yet there are always after effects, even with a small attack that haunt your daily life. I’ve learned to move slower in life and to enjoy the small things. Sweating the small stuff? Not so much anymore.

I’ve also come to realize that my temple more or less resembled an abandoned 7-11 with several unwelcome homeless guests. Translation? My health and body were in different time zones when it came to being where they were supposed to be. I signed up for a 24 hour gym membership and over the last two months I’ve lost fifteen pounds. Some has come back as muscle and I’ve fallen off the wagon more than once. I keep coming back to it because I want to live to see many more tomorrows.

Back at Skyridge I’m escorted downstairs by a nurse in blue about my age. He’s an affable guy like me and we quickly become pals. As it is he’ll be watching me sleep. It’s all for science he says with a grin. I laugh. At least he’s got a sense of humor.

I’m soon hooked up like Frankenstein. I lost count at how many things are stuck to my head, feet, face and body. I’m ushered into bed and told to try and sleep. I give a thumb up and we’re off.

I can tell you this without question. I don’t sleep on my back. I don’t move for fear of unhooking the wires and inspiring a Kathy Bates Breaking My Legs-esque evening. I need my appendages. I don’t remember much of the night, aside from being hooked up to a CPAP machine. I fought that thing for the better part of an hour and faded in and out of sleep off and on. Throughout it the entire thing the affable nurse continued to help, check up and otherwise get the job done.

Morning came and I woke up unusually refreshed. I was out and on my way to church. As I sit here now I can tell you whatever the machine did, it worked. I feel more refreshed, more focused and far more rested than I ever have been. Results come in about five to seven days to confirm whether indeed I have Sleep Apnea or not.

All told, it was a fascinating experience. I will not miss the wires and Darth Vader gear. As cool as I once thought it would be to be the Dark Lord himself…never again.

This video describes in words and images what I feel like this far along in my stoke.

That is all for now.

Today was the first day that I actually felt as if I had returned to myself pre-stroke.  It’s not been easy.  I have a schedule book (seen here) that I’m using to keep track of my day and my tasks.  My workout regimen has given me 12 less pounds since I began on March 25.  I feel better each day.  I can do more each day.  Without question, I’m doing much better than I was six months into the stroke.

I was able to do so much yesterday that for the first time, I felt as I had done my job and put everything I had into what i was doing. It was an odd moment where I realized this, but it felt as I had actually accomplished something beyond my regular day to day existence. I had made a difference in my life in so many smaller ways that suddenly the big picture was no longer cloudy but becoming clearer.

I start it all again today and hope to continue this upward climb.

Tally ho!

Kidding aside, I’ve got some work to do. Which comes to my second Resolution. One of my goals for 2009 is to live. You know the whole, “I don’t wanna die. I wanna live!” statement that is present in many apocalyptic movies of past and present. There is of course a certain scene in “Serenity” where the promise of horizontal relations gives someone the gumption to fight on intent on winning so that they can indeed, “live”.

However you define “living”, apply it to me. You see, I’m a shut in. A literal, figurative and rhetorical shut in to the fullest extent of the word. I’ve spent more my off days watching DVD’s of “Stargate” and “House”. I’ve had the chance to get out and do things. I’ve either invented or thrown myself into things so I can claim being “busy” or unable to attend due to something else. Hermits worldwide look to me for the latest hermitage fashions. The shut ins have granted me a provisional membership in their burgeoning Illuminati-esque organization.

If this sounds bad, it is. I used to be the biggest party in the room. A bit crazed, but still a party. I was a outgoing guy. I relished going out into the world and enjoying the life God had given me. What has created this sloth like impression so indelibly impressed upon me? And how in the blue blazes do I get it off me?

I’ve long longed for the friendship. I have long sought to hold someone in my arms. Each time I seem to either get cold feet, hot feet or even tepid feet. Either way it never really works out like it should. It’s a dance of confusion, fear and previous experiences. I can confess without too much trouble to saying I’m alone. Aside from one or two friends who I’ve managed to push myself into involving myself with, I’ve got nothing.

And it’s all my fault. I can’t be counted on for much. I can’t really be expected to follow through. One of my best friends from my old church had a wedding with nearly everyone. I missed it. The reasons were all in my hands. Why didn’t I simply find a way to make it happen? I’m pretty sure I’ve burned that bridge pretty effectively. And it’s my fault.

If this sounds depressing, it is. It’s hard finding a way to process through all this. It is why I write. Sometimes getting this stuff from fingers to keyboard helps to lift the weight of worry from my shoulders. We all have things in our hearts and minds that weigh heavily on us every day. I’m unable to hold those things within very well.

I also express myself far better on paper.

2008 was a struggle against a Stroke that continues to haunt me each day. It was also a struggle against keeping myself healthy and focused. 2009 presents a great chance to get it right and make it right. All the self image problems that crop up every so often. All the times when I don’t feel confident speaking in groups. All the moments where I simply step aside and lurk in the shadows because it’s easy. Those moments when the cute girl smiles and I’ve got the chance to make my move…and don’t.

For me 2009 is a chance to live life again. I will have to manage to do all this while working a second shift schedule and in a high pressure/expectation work environment.

Part of this effort is to start once again doing my radio show daily. That will be detailed in Part 3 in a few days.

I’m curious to see if you’ve ever struggled or currently struggle with this stuff I’ve talked about above.  Feel free to comment your opinion/thoughts/experiences.

Well, this is it. The moment where we all count down to the end of one long stretch of 365 days. I know it’s been a harried year on the international stage with diplomacy and war. The markets from Argentina to Zimbabwe have taken a pounding. Here in the good ole’ United States of America we’ve been in a recession for pretty much the entire year. Money isn’t growing on trees like it used to and everyone is facing uncertain times.

Yes, 2008 was probably not the best year we as a nation have had. Never mind what ugly shape the world is in right now.

On a personal level 2008 has been equally as rocky. Back in April I had a minor stroke that put me in the hospital for six days. Every since that day I’ve been living my life in terms of black and white. Some days are good, some days are bad. My left side acts up every so often. My leg especially enjoys slowing me down at times. I’ve lost some confidence when it comes to speaking in social situations. That once gregarious unstoppable force that was Aaron DeLay has slowed some. I take two pills a day and haven’t found the groove and rhythm that I had hoped would be evident by this time in my life.

I changed job in June and escaped from the worst job I have ever had in my life to one that offers so much more. I left the call center world and landed in the position of Housekeeping operations manager. From being on my feet for a minute to nearly all dang day has taught me what management is all about. Mind you, I’m still learning but the people I work with have shown they are willing to help me take that learning curve with good traction.

I found myself questioning my Faith, my God and my own life through it all. I found God again and we’re still working on things in that department.

For 2008 I was single. It was a lonely time. Still is. I’m the one with the power to change that, so I’ve got own that failure. Can’t blame that on The Man or anybody else. Sometimes I think I’m ready and other times I make people wonder how I ever even had a girlfriend. I’ve got the goal to start dating again. Which I hope to learn how to do again.

I’ve kept the weight at around 220 pounds for most of the year. I’ve got the goal of taking better care of myself and feeling better about myself. Obviously it all dovetails.

In 2008 I grew to love my parents even more. We’ve had a great relationship over the past few years and I was blessed to spend time with them over Thanksgiving. It was one of the best times of my life. Being with Family and not worrying about life is priceless. My brother spent time in Ireland and came back in time for Christmas, which he spent up with the family. I worked Christmas and hoped it wouldn’t be hard to process.

It was difficult. Finishing out 2008 without being able to celebrate the Christmas Holiday is something I don’t ever want to miss again.

For 2009 I can only hope and pray that I remain stroke free. I can believe that I’ll find friendship and love over the next 365 days in abundance. I can hope, dream and believe that the best will happen.

And for now as 2008 fades from view in that quiet moment as the clock ticks passed 12:01am…I will do just that without sarcasm, cynicism or pessimism. Happy New Year everyone! Let’s make it a good one.