I have to say I regret that.  There were a few I did want to lock lips with and I’ll confess to feeling like I had to kiss a girl on one of these dates. If I didn’t I was sure my man card would burst into flames, burn through my pocket and set my pants a’smoking.

I caught one of his latest columns entitled, “How To Kiss” and it hit at just the right time.  I’ve recently entered a relationship with a great gal and we’ve both discovered kissing again.  I love how Erik describes the power of a kiss and what it can mean in it’s different forms.  You need to read it if only to find yourself transported back in time to your first kiss that really lit the sky up as skin came closer to a member of the opposite sex for the first time.

It’s fascinating when you stop and look back at the kisses that have defined your life.  I remember the first time I kissed a girl was my sophomore year of high school.  I was young, dumb and clumsy.  I also knew I wanted a girlfriend more than anything in the world.  I wanted it because everyone else had it.  Oh and kissing just looked like the kinda fun I wanted to have.

I’m not sure how it happened but my parents left the house for a show.  We watched “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”.  As the movie went along we leaned into each other.  Each moment brought us closer together and closer to the horizontal position on the couch.  The credits rolled.

I can’t tell you how we ended up face to face.  All I know is that she was the expert.  I had no idea what I was doing.  Clueless.  Sloppy.  Anxious.  She was my guide.  And she was good.  I cannot describe in words what it was like to express my feelings to her in the manner of lip to lip but I can say it was everything I imagined and more.  Fireworks.  It was electric.  It was so new, so wonderful to me that I just didn’t want to stop.

We made out until we heard the door open upstairs as the parents came back.  We felt like such rebels.  I recently told my parents this story and they were in shock.  They had no idea.

Me and My First Kiss were the worst for each other.  She the wild child and me the sheltered Jesus Loving Virgin.  We gave it the old high school try but we came to realize we’d hurt each other pretty badly if we kept up the charade.  She finally admitted it one day and it was like brick went from my brain to my feet in half a second.  My entire spine was shattered and my heart burst in a spectacular flower of sadness.

We met up a few years later and it was awful.  We sat on opposite sides of the couch.  Watched “My Girl”.  I was a hopeless romantic that refused to give up the girls I crushed on.  I do know that if we got had gotten close enough and motivated enough that those old feelings and the old moves would have returned in an instant.

Fast forward to this last month.  I met a girl.  I hadn’t kissed a girl since 2007.  It’d been a long time.

I won’t kiss and tell but I will give you one word to describe it.

Fireworks.

Don’t give up hope single guys.  If I can find a woman to spend time with and call My Girl – there’s hope for you.

A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby

My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Wow. I loved this book to hate one or two characters. A simple four way story between four people destined to kill themselves. All on the same night. Together they awkwardly join together to become some eccentric gang of insane people gathered together towards a goal. Whatever that may be. By the end you want to throttle the young girl in the story and you want to hug the rest of them. It’s a fantastic little story of people, pain, struggle and in the end…twisted triumph. Love me some twisted triumph.

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Death Troopers by Joe Schreiber

My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Holy crap. Zombies. Star Wars. Han. Chewie. ZOMBIES! ONNOMNOM!

That’s all you really need to know. It’s fairly terrifying (descriptions might make you squirm) but it’s a nonstop adventure in the deep darkness of space where everyone screams. And wants to eat your brains. ONNOMNOM!

If you like Star Wars, Zombies, Alien and all kinds of spacey scarey stuff…you’ll need to give this book a run over your eyes. It’s a fun little peek into the darker aspects of the Empire.

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Ex Machina Vol. 1: The First Hundred Days by Brian K. Vaughan

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Graphic Novels or “comic books” are always tricky. This one isn’t really. A cool little story with a mix of “Heroes”, “Batman” and a few others it takes a honest and fascinating look at life with superheroes. What it means to them, us and those around it all. It starts off a little preach with politics but sealed the deal as it went along. I’d be curious to see the rest of the series.

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You’ll find seven (yes, 7!) photos below of me in various stages of my presentation. Enjoy! The video is coming as soon as they upload it to the youtube channel.

Her site is here and it’s awesomely titled “The Untold Tales of the Average Nursing Student”. Jenn’s married these and living it up in Las Vegas. I’m pretty sure she’s going to make a great nurse and despite all the adventures ahead I think she’ll make it through alright. So go read her stuff and bookmark/RSS/etc her stuff. K? Good.

Below is a review of a book I read this weekend and finally finished in the wee hours of last night. It was surprisingly good!

Something’s Alive on the Titanic by Robert J. Serling

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Wow. This book was just gobs of fun for me. I’m an oldschool Titanic geek and parts of this book had me smilin’ wide like a fool. Some good haunting moments and pretty thrilling story combined with a acceptable ending makes this book something I’d enjoy reading again to pick up on details I missed. Fun and historical. Gotta love it!

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I think if VH1 or MTV were to build a dating/tough love show around me it’d be hilarious, terrifying and touching all at the same time. I’ve got some pounds to lose and some muscle to gain so there’s the “Biggest Loser” angle. I don’t date well at all so there’s the “Tough Love” bases covered. Oh and I’m a pretty conservative guy when it comes to the physical so there’s the “Real World” topper on the top to finish it off.

I know there’s someone out there for me (God, you hear me?) and I know that I’m not meant to be alone. Part of this insane macabre 365 days of DeLay project is to help augment my weaknesses and build up my stengths. So far with 17 days in, I’m flailing with the biggest part of this project – getting out. I was thinking earlier today that I would make the month of February revolve around the subject of “Love”, “Dating” or “Relating”. Given today’s wonderful frustrational (it is a word dangnabit) spiral, I’m having a hard time convincing my heart it’s a good idea.

My mind knows well and good what needs to happen but the gun shy blood pumping muscle retreats when things get tough. This is a lot of why I’ve been as Hermit since June. And I’ve got to stop the cycle.

I think it’s time to step it up another notch. I’m not entirely sure what that looks like, but I’m turning to you. The nameless, faceless and at times…notevensureyouexistface readers. Your suggestions are welcomed. Consider yourself officially promoted to armchair psychiatrist. Ideas on what to do in Denver, local dating adventures that are sure to send me into a paper bag inflating frenzy or ideas on how between now and 2011 am I going to transform into something better for myself and everyone around me.

To the tale of the tape –

1 – Lose it or Die – Burned 615 Calories today doing a hour of swimming. WIN!

2 – Get out! – Rinse, repeat, etc FAIL

3 – Write it like you want it – ARG! FAIL!

4 – Rock out to more – Via NPR – Teddy Pendergrass.

5 – Get Smart-er – Pushing through Dying of the Light

Total Win/Loss for today – 3/5
Meh = completion rate.
Grade = Pbbbttt!

Keeping up with the fast pace of a first shift in hospital housekeeping is far different than the second shift I had worked on up until about two months ago.  The pace at the night hours was mundane and plodding.  It would make you wonder if you could keep going until the next crisis cropped up to give you something to do.  I yearned for first shift for a year and a half.  Thankfully for my mental sake God delivered me to the morning shift.

After hitting the ground running, stumbling and bumbling I’ve come to realize how lucky I was on the 3pm to midnight shift.  Now I’m trying to keep pace with the ever increasing rotating sprockets that push the day onwards.  I’ve got a long road to go but I’m firmly back on that road to success.  The New Year gives me a chance to strive for greatness, not goodness.

Let’s check in with our goals then shall we?

Terminator Salvation: The Official Movie Novelization by Alan Dean Foster

My rating: 3 of 5 stars
The book itself is fairly mundane and follows closely to what I know of the movie. It’s a fun popcorn read and will keep you entertained. Meeting up with some more familiar characters was great but I grew to not really care for much of them as it just didn’t feel as if the writer was invested. Given that this is was adapted from script, it’s understandable.

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I only did 15 minutes today because I felt lazy. Yes, I admit it. I’m lazy at times. With my exercise I’m just terrible. Mind you the excuse my mind was saying as I pressed the red “Stop” button is that my body needs to build up endurance. So instead of forty five minutes, I’ll simply do twenty.

Somewhere my mind developed a…mind of its own and took over my body. I walked out after such a short workout and somehow the brain managed to overrule the heart and get me home and plopped into my comfy office chair.

In some countries (and one universe) The Comfy Chair is a torture device.

My comfy chair is not however and it is quietly holding my glutinous muscle in a resting position.

I’ve come to accept the fact that this week will probably be hell for my body and me as I get used to working out on a regular basis again. I’m aware there will probably be angry words bouncing around my cranium as the muscles, tendons and everything else burns with intensity of a thousand and one suns.

But it will be worth it. If I can keep to this (and I shall endear to do so!) I can start losing the weight and my “man boobs” will quietly fade away into the night rather than screaming at me every morning when I see them in the mirror.

They scream. I throw up a little in my mouth. Fun for the whole family.

So what happened in twelve days of not doing anything to prevent my death at an early age? I lost one pound somehow and have felt pretty fat over the last week or so. So, this will be me throwing my rebellious body and mind onto the machines and like Darth Vader torturing it until it gives me what I want.

And there will be no one to stop us this time!

When it comes to excercise walking away is the worst thing you can do.  I was getting up on my endurance and I was looking and feeling better.  For the first time in ten years I was happy with myself.  I was doing better at work, at home and just about everywhere.  Coming to a dead stop was a death knell to my progress.

I worked out today for about an hour and it felt good.  I burned around 450 calories or so.  I know that I’m going to feel this in the morning and I can guarantee you that tomorrow when I go into the gym I’m going to have that first fifteen or so minutes where I curse everyeone around me silently because getting back on that machine is like asking someone to hammer all your appendages at once with extra effort on your lungs and heart. It’s the euphoric rhythmic harmony that forms when your body is warmed up and suddenly everything is firing at once on all cylinders and you’re sweating to the oldies.

And loving every minute of it.

Today I weighed 220 pounds. I worked out for an hour and burned 450 calories on a running machine. Tomorrow the adventure continues. Onward!

You want to know how bad it’s become? I weigh a shocking 230 pounds. I’m 5’11. That’s unreal to me.

I’ve struggled with my weight for a long time and most of it was even pre-stroke. It started when I went overseas to the Philippines and found myself eating to excess. When I came back I simply continued in this habit. It’s become worse in the last year as I’ve gone back and forth with my gym membership and moving into a new placed coupled with job stress.

I’m not happy with how I look and I’ve got to double down. Every month I go without getting back on the train is another month where I am living unhealthy and threatening my future with all kinds of potential maladies. It’s time. I’ve got to lose it or I will most certainly leave this earth earlier than I ever intended. Combined with my stroke, sleep apnea and everything else I can’t do what I’m doing anymore.

So every day I’m going to blog about what I did to avoid the acceleration of my doom. Some of it might be funny. Other times it’ll be heartbreaking. And some of it will probably be boring. But it must be done. My future depends on this.