Angst and Agony

Authors note:  I’ve decided to do some writing about my work in youth ministries.  This is part one in an ongoing series where I’ll talk about issues facing the kids of today from my perspective and give some thoughts on where we might go from here.  Feel free to comment, complain or otherwise give your thoughts. -aaron

If I asked you to name the chief complaints you had about the youth of today I have the good sense to know the list would go on and on and on into infinity. It seems no matter what generation you live in, what year it is or what country you live in the youth are always regarded in a negative light for enumerable reasons. Truth is I’d probably agree with you on most if not all of the litany of lists you’d present.

The truth is the youth of today (and by proxy the future of tomorrow) are troubled by more than any group of teenagers that have come before. If you don’t believe me try the following experiment. Volunteer at a nearby church, youth center or other assorted group for a period of a month for just one day a week. Watch. Observe. Listen. Repeat.

I’m a people watcher and in that I observe. I listen. I might even eavesdrop. I watch people’s eyes. I peer behind the eyes in hopes of seeing the raw emotion that lies just beyond the horizon. In those moments from afar you can sometimes see a flash of the life being lived.

I can guarantee you that that world view you’ve occupied for so long will slowly begin to change as you spend more time with them.

You see, I volunteer at a church with a sizable junior high program. We’re talking grades six through eight. In that wide spread of ages and maturity there is serious angst and trouble to be had. Watching girls arrive alone and spend the entire service without a fellow girlfriend is heart wrenching. Worse is when she takes the step to combine with a group of girls and is rejected. Boys can be just as bad. The guys that suffer the most (and I was one back in the day) are the nerds, the shy ones and the guys who really aren’t all that into being all that.

There is real trouble in all this. From “cutters” to other unimaginable manners of self punishment we’re seeing more and more swings from rational to reactive in how our students deal with the frustrations of being in the age bracket they are. The truth is that they need us more now than ever. As cheesy as that might sound, there is real impact you, me and everyone else can have.

Junior High students are hard nuts to crack. I don’t even try to figure out the girls. I say hi and smile, hoping that’ll brighten an otherwise grey day. The boys are much more fascinating. The nerds and outcasts are always alone, rarely recognized and usually never speak up. When they do it’s usually a stumble. After that they’ll never speak up again. The best thing I’ve found to do is find that nerdy something that they’re interested in and get them to talk about it.

You see, nerds love to geek out. We love the ability to share all this knowledge we’ve spent serious time researching and memorizing. An extra bonus is when someone knows about what it is we’re talking about and is able to geek out along with us.

The reality of today is that life has become tougher for the current generation and that skyrocketing trend will not slow. The best that we can hope for is that a difference will be made by people who take a vested interest in these embattled lives and find ways to bring a smile once in awhile back to drive the furrowed brows away.

Feel free to agree, disagree or pontificate in the comments.