Declined

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The days are starting to run together.  I had forgotten it was Wednesday and was unable to remember if tomorrow was Thursday or Friday.  Be still my scattered brains!

I do church work in kids ministry and tonight I was at one of the churches.  They have a Starbucks-clone in the building which I don’t exactly think is a great thing because I think coffee is the devil (aka beezelabub!) and to have that type of evvvviilll in the church seems a little backwards, but that’s just me.

I was ordering a cookie and a caramel apple cider and was having a good old time when the lady informed me my debit card had been declined.  This seemed odd considering I had checked my account and found it full of green only minutes previous.  She tried it again, but no luck.  The credit card machine was acting up so she gave me my food for free.

Which made me nervous ’cause I felt like I was stealing from The Lord.  I mean, I know how He rolls in the Old Testament.  Bunch of people getting sucked into the earth for not listening, people wandering in the desert in confusion cause they disobeyed and endless kings, important people and other sorts getting blown up, struck down and laid out.

Needless, I’m thankful God sent down His son and we had that whole 33 years of life, preaching and then death and then life and then flying up into heaven.  The New Testament God is so much cooler.  That and he’s less likely to send a bolt of lighting my way these days.

Which brought me to my thought.  Who declines credit cards at churches?  Is it like a special team of angels?  And what happens if you are declined?  Is there a trap door down to the bad place if you’ve caught them on a bad day?  Or does The Angel of Death do a drive by?  I mean I think we may need to investigate this a little more.  I’m wondering if I should go out, get a lamb and put the blood above the door in case the Roving Credit Checker Angel is passing over my city tonight.

Or are those issues handled by Hell?  I’ve always figured collectors, banks and other credit people worked for the devil and now I may have a case to prove my point.  If this is true my consolation prize is I’m good and paid up with the The Big Boss Up There.

Maybe the one angel who can’t seem to get anything right is given the credit part of the world.  Or maybe Gabriel retired and this is his new domain.  Wouldn’t that be something.  A bunch of retired angels wearing black sunglasses and dressed in pin stripe suits with those giant white wings sticking out the back showing at your door twirling their halos on their fingers.

I can feel the fire and smell the brimstone already.

Jesus take the wheel.  Or something.