How I dislike thee! Two notables things I heard this weekend at church from ‘da preacher.
A husband and wife had been married for many years. The people around them never saw them fight, disagree or have a moment of conflict. A friend one day asked the husband, “How have you done it all these years?” The man gave a smile and began to tell the story. “It was our honeymoon and we didn’t have much money. So instead of a halfway decent hotel we decided to hike down the Grand Canyon. We got two mules and packed them up and headed out.
About a quarter of the way down her mule stumbled. My wife shook her head and said, ‘That’s one.’ We kept going and about fifteen minutes later the mule stumbled again, this time sending the pack to the ground. Again my wife shook her head and as she got down and put the pack back on the mule she looked that animal in the eye and said, ‘That’s two.’ We were almost all the way down when the mule stumbled pretty bad and sent my bride to the ground.
She got up and shook her head again. ‘That’s three.’ She took out a pistol and shot the animal between the eyes, killing it instantly. I was in shock! I got down off my mule. ‘Honey, what in the world!? Why did you do that? We needed that mule! We can’t get back up with that…what was that all about?”
She looked me straight in the eye and said, ‘That’s one.’
And more…
I was preaching at a church one day and was on the subject of sin. I had been talking about being without sin. I decided to ask the question, ‘Is there anyone without sin’ thinking that nobody would be able to stand up. So I asked the question and to my surprise one man stood in the back. Flabbergasted I asked the man, “How can you have not sinned your entire life?” The man shook his head. “I’m not standing up for me. I’m representing my wife’s first husband!”
And lastly…
Me and my wife can fight. We can argue. The problem is we are both very strong willed. I also like to get the last word in an argument. We were driving through Kansas one day on a trip somewhere and had been fighting in the car for most of the morning. I should also say I like to say things somtimes to make jokes…and also to get the last word in edgewise. As we came over the hill I spotted some donkeys off to the side in a field.
I turned to my wife, relishing the last word. “Look hon! There’s your family!” My celebration was short lived however as she turned to me, arms crossed and face deadpan. “Only by marriage.”
