“The Best of…” continues with this post from August 24, 2004. I was in training for my MCI call center job at that time and we had experienced a large amount of losses with people quitting and getting kicked out of the room cause they had drank too much crazy that week. This is their story…*Law and Order Theme Music begins*…
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I don’t talk about my work here often for one solid reason: This place is very public and I have no doubt my co-workers would find this place or even worse, my bosses.
Therefore, I don’t talk about my work here. There’s not actually anything bad about work, I’m fully enjoying it to the max. Let’s talk about where we’ve come from, as it’s a bit eye opening.
We all started on a Wednesday. Nine of us trainees. All bright eyed and bushy-tailed. We’re were excited, we were ready. Energy flowed through our muscles, blood pumped through our veins. Our company logo was printed across our foreheads. Well, not really.
We got in at 8:00am to start our training. We made it into the classroom (we had to shoot some crocodiles and several lions on the way, but we all managed to make it there, without too much blood spilled. We arrived and sat down. Now, it’s about 8:05. Not a minute later, one of us walks to the front, talks to the lady, steps outside with her and then comes back in, gets his things and is out the door faster than you can “Hey, where ya going…guy we don’t have a name for yet!”
It was the sad truth. We hadn’t even met the guy. And he was gone into the wind of external job opportunity. Sad times. Down to 8.
Week 2: One us decides he’s going to Dish Network, which has proven to have higher turnover rates than Rosanne’s husbands. We warn him. Several of us who worked there before warn him. He leaves. Down to 7.
Week 3: One of us, the only girl in the class is with us one day and the next is gone. Into the mist she walks without a parting word. We cry and sacrifice two computers in her name, tearing our robes from our bodies. Down to 6.
Week 4: One of us is given the boot. Rumors run rampant. We don’t know why he left. His reason is he needs a part time job instead of full time as he’s going to school full time. We wonder where his brain was when he went through the interview process. We decide to create a shrine in his name from assorted chairs and desk pieces we find. It is destroyed at night by unnamed janitors. We swear vengeance. After we have our morning coffee. And then we forget about it. Down to 5.
Week 5: One of us has been targeted. He feels it in the water. We smell it in the water. We pray to the gods of employment to save him from his fate. He walks out and is never seen again. We surmise he was looking for a “PRUNS” from his history log on his computer. Sadly, the IT guys mistake it for PRON aka PORN and send him packing. We mourn his passing and create a sorrowful dirge that sounds like Happy Birthday To You, but a lot worse as we can’t carry a freaking tune. Gunshots ring out and we stop. Down to Four.
And so that is where we are. With two weeks to go, we’re closing in. So, needless to say it has been an adventure. Just wait. Next week Godzilla will come crashing through our office and our dedicated four will join together and cry out some ancient curse and send him back to Japan.
If we could just do that to Celine Dion. Well, truth is we do, but she keeps running the damn border crossing.
